Tag Archives: Boss

I tried, but…..

 

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Mom: Again you made that new dress dirty? Did you ever try not to make my life miserable?

Me: I tried, but……

Mom: All my fate, you and your father, just alike. Now I have to sit and wash them for hours.

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Teacher: Have you had a look at your report card? It was really hard to look at it though.

Me: I tried, but……

Teacher: I pity your parents, such highly educated people have such an illiterate son.

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Dad: When will you be standing on your won feet? How long I have to feed and provide you?

Me: I tried, but……

Dad: Shut up. I can’t show my face in the neighbourhood. The next door Chatterjee’s son got into an MNC with such handsome package.

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Girlfriend: So, have to try to find a better job? When can I tell my parents about us?

Me: I tried, but……

Girlfriend: Tried my foot. My parents already found a guy, tall, handsome and US settled with six figure salary. Do me a favour, don’t try to call me again.

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Boss: it’s been two days that the deadline has passed. Could you kindly tell me please why this one is not completed yet?

Me: I tried, but……

Boss: Don’t give me excuses, I don’t like excuses. If it is not finished by EOD, you are finished.

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Me: Why couldn’t you make me a better man?

Life: I tried, but……

Me:@#$%&!!@@@###%$$#

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I-Tried-But-Failed

Office Tales

369756138_1390320895 Accountant 800px-TradeMe_offices

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(Knock on the cabin door)

Boss: Come in..

Accountant: Yes Sir, Did you call me?

Boss: Yes! There was 20 lakhs cash in the vault here from the last deal. I thought I would deposit it today. But it seems that the entire cash is missing.

Accountant: Good heavens! Someone stole it. Who could that be? Sir, did you already informed the police

Boss: I should, but I know who stole it. So I am going to give you one chance to confess. You’ll be fired but you won’t at least in jail.

Accountant: This is absurd. This is just a ploy to fire me; I am not falling for it. Let’s call the cops.

Boss: Well you are right. I never liked you much. Now get out, you are fired!!

Accountant: Oh! Then your wife must know about the affair between you and your secretary. She shouldn’t be in dark about that anymore.

Boss: Are you trying to blackmail me?

Accountant: Just trying to save my job. You and I both know that I have nothing to do with that stolen money.

Boss: My wife needs not to know anything about me and my secretary. Now just get the hell out of here and do whatever you are doing.

Accountant: Thank you boss.

(That night, in the bed)

Accountant: That bastard almost nailed me.

Boss’s wife: Don’t worry darling, we got everything under control right!

Accountant: Yes we do baby. He still thinks the money is safe where he hid it. I already moved it to the parking lot. In two suitcases, well hidden. Tomorrow I am going to get it and then…….

Boss’s wife: Please darling, take me away from this hell. We will go away some place quiet and nice.

Accountant: Mauritius??

(Same night, someplace else)

Boss: Darn that bastard, I almost got him.

Accountant’s wife: Oh honey, what are we going to do now?

Boss: Don’t you worry. I got it under control. I already have the money, hidden in my toilet. Tomorrow I will move it somewhere safe and then I got to find another way to frame him and fire him.

Accountant’s wife: I can’t wait anymore sweetheart. Divorce that bitch so I can dump my sorry ass husband. I am dying to be with you, forever.

Boss: That day is coming very soon baby, get for our honeymoon trip.

Accountant’s wife: Ummm, you have any place is mind?

Boss: How about Mauritius??

(Same night, another place)

She was thinking, it’s been two years. She’s sleeping with both of them and both made a heap of promises to marry her and keep her happy. Why people always under estimate her and insult her wit?

The Secretary was looking at the two suitcases she picked up from the parking lot. She has to leave this place tonight and get vanished.

She’s thinking of someplace happening, Mauritius!!

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